There is a certain relief that comes with admitting our most hidden shame and saying out loud, shame is commonly defined as a painful emotion caused by having done something wrong or improper, by announcing our inner most secrets especially the ones that cause us to have that painful emotion to someone meaning our friends, relatives, therapists sometimes even a stranger, some weight is lifted off and we breath easier but it also makes us feel accepted and that is not always what we need. As much as we don’t admit or realize it we don’t necessarily say these things just to be heard we voice them out to get a reaction out of the listener and at times to seek help but in this day and age we all seem to find those so called ‘shameful’ actions more appropriate or cool instead of us the listeners helping the people who entrusted us with those secrets so they overcome their shame and addictions and have a brighter tomorrow we encourage not only to announce to the world and make it even more influential on the internet but also show them how to make money off of it using social media while slowly putting that person’s in danger. What i consider shameful actions might be different from yours but for addictions some are commonly agreed up and these are; smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse(cocaine,…), gambling, masturbating, binge eating, too much plastic surgery, never ending video games, never ending tattoos, sex, shopping and a lot more. People involved in these activities(addicts) do not always recognize that they have a problem and when they do, they do not go around just saying it to anyone, the moment they open up about their issue and admit that they are addicts it is both a victory and a fail, that is to mean that by saying it out loud to someone else they are confessing that they have a problem and that by now they are aware, the downside is being that they also start considering themselves victims of their addictions instead of finding ways to stop or at the very least reduce they stick with the mindset of ‘i can not help it, i am addicted’.
if you are a person who has been confided with this secret and you feel you want to help there are different steps you can try to help that person including;
1. Learn about the addiction
Do not jump in this process without doing a lot of reading so as to know the effects it can have when one tries to quit, find healthy ways and remember you are no one’s savior so if you are feeling drained involve another person maybe a specialist and give yourself a break.
2. Do not judge
Do not make them feel judged when they fail once, twice or even more times be sure that they know you will be there as long as they are still trying to get better. Do not try to simplify it for them and make it sound or look like they should be doing more or as if they are slacking off.
3. Realistic expectation
This process won’t be easy and most definitely won’t take a short time, being patient, consistent, slow but steady is better than having them lie to you about how long it has been since they got involved in their addiction.
4. Get professional support and counseling
Accepting where your capacity ends is brave. Decide when it is time to involve more professional support and counsel to enhance this process.
and for a person with the addiction with the greatest hope that you will get through this here are some tips that can help you as you start;
1. Change your environment
This includes your friends, the place you normally spend time, if you are inside too often try the outside the air is fresh, if you go out and party to much try saying no to yourself and your friends, get cozy inside and try a clean novel.
2. Distract yourself
A new hobby, a project you have been meaning to finish, family and friends you have been to visit who are not involved in the same thing you are distracting from, a workout, yoga, swim, anything to get your mind off your addiction.
3. Review failures at previous quitting attempts
learn from the past and choose to correct it, the mistakes made, the temptations, the surroundings, go through it, write them down so you know not repeat them.
4. Create a support network
You are lucky if you are in contact with a person who has been where you are and is clean now because they can walk you out but if you do not know any, spend time who are supportive of your decision to be better anyone from your family member or church members.
