Online Newspaper for Students at School of Journalism

Are you a ‘pick me’ person?


This term first made its way on Twitter back in the year 2016 and ever since then, people all over the world have used it to mock others.

A pick me person by dictionary is defined as someone that deliberately exhibits behavior that attempts to appease others (most often the opposite sex), whilst acting as if they’re completely unaware that this is what they’re doing even though they definitely are.

Or simply put, a person who begs for the attention, acceptance and approval from a certain group in the different things they say or the way they behave. In most cases, it’s the opposite sex.

Hence the ‘pick me’ girl or boy becoming a source of not one but a lot of different videos, memes and comedy stories on different social media platform.

You will probably start to notice that people with such behavior are not that far from us, but for the time being let’s start examining ourselves.

Let’s start with a pick me boy; a boy or man who claims or acts as if he is unlike most other men, in order to gain attention from women.

This person will typically act as though they are unworthy of a woman’s time, love or attention, with the hope that the woman whose attention they are trying to get will feel bad for them and pick them over the rest.

A compliment for every self-hate comment.

Such men want compliment, this is not a bad thing, everyone deserves a compliment once in a while to remind them how special they are however the way in which a pick-me boy uses to get a compliment looks a little too manipulative.

In each conversation they will start self-hating or comparing themselves to ‘better looking guy’, ‘richer guy’, or the ‘cooler guy’, mostly for attention and so you feel bad for them and give them a compliment.

Once a pick me boys decide to give themselves compliments they find a way to put a negative spin on it so you come and make them feel better with more compliments.

Easy example would be if a pick me boy compliments their eyes and you don’t quickly jump in to agree, they will start going on to ask if you don’t like their eyes and just to mix it up, they will insult their whole facial features until you pay them attention.

Now before we start throwing rocks at our friends, ladies keep in mind that some of these men can make good romantic partners if their pick me personality is pure, not manipulative.

All the nicest gestures to keep your attention.

These are the same boys and men who can turn into what is known as; Simps or nice guys.

Off to the world of a typical pick me girl we go, defining her as a woman who claims or acts as if she is unlike most other women, in order to gain attention from men.

There are typical signs to show a woman or girl who is a pick me, including her need to pick on other women whether it be the way they dress, their makeup, their shoes, she might constantly be talking about how she only finds comfort in male friendships and barely has any female friends because to her women are only good for drama and make-up.

Now the problem is if any and every little thing that a person does makes them a ‘pick me’ person, we will have people who are basically robots, doing the same, just to fit in.

We can become honest with ours we will realize that at some point in our lives we have all been a pick me person, it is however hilarious how social media will take a term and run with it, instead of actually using it as a starting point to find its source.

Women already have internalized misogyny (hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls)
This reason itself should make us want to know more about its origin which will be more help than simply making more and more funny reels.

Starting from the time they are born, they are already social norms pushed on them to appease to a men, and vice-versa for men.

Clear example would, ‘ girls and women are to dress in typically feminine clothing, be polite, accommodating, and nurturing while men are to be strong, aggressive, and bold.’

Could it be that the real pick me happen to be the people who villainize others for being different to make themselves look better?

Share this article