February, often dubbed the ‘month of love,’ is synonymous with Valentine’s Day, celebrated on the 14th as an occasion for expressing affection and appreciation. Traditionally, men have been perceived as the primary initiators of romantic gestures—planning dates, buying gifts, and demonstrating love in various ways. However, discussions around gender roles in relationships continue to evolve, raising the question: should Valentine’s Day be a mutual celebration of love?
A display of Valentine handouts by vendors around Kisimenti, Remera.
Olivia Onyebuchi Munachi, a journalism student at Mount Kigali University, believes that love should not be a one-sided affair. She argues that women, too, have a role to play in expressing their affection, not only toward their romantic partners but also toward friends, family, and the broader community.
Olivia Onyebuchi Munachi, a student in Journalism department of Mount Kigali University.
“To show love is for everybody. It is not one-sided,” Munachi said. “As a woman, I am supposed to show my own part of love. Love is not just about your partner buying gifts; it also extends to family, friends, and even neighbors. Valentine’s Day should be about unconditional love, not an exchange of gifts based on expectation. Women can also contribute—if they go on a date, they can even pay the bill.”
Beyond the exchange of gifts, Munachi emphasized that cooperation in relationships strengthens bonds, builds trust, and fosters deeper emotional connections. “When both partners engage in the celebration, it increases intimacy and romance, rekindling passion and affection,” she added.
Patrick Ikuzwe, a student in Crop Sciences at the University of Rwanda’s Busogo Campus, echoed this sentiment, highlighting the benefits of shared responsibility in romantic relationships.
Patrick Ikuzwe, a student in Crop Sciences at University of Rwanda’s Busogo Campus.
“When both partners actively participate in celebrating occasions like Valentine’s Day, it strengthens emotional bonds and promotes open communication about desires and expectations within the relationship,” Ikuzwe said. “This mutual effort leads to greater satisfaction for both individuals involved. Women should feel empowered to make their partners happy on Valentine’s Day through gifts, outings, or thoughtful gestures. This shift also reflects the evolving nature of gender roles in modern society.”
However, some still believe that men should take the lead in Valentine’s Day celebrations, arguing that doing so reinforces traditional perceptions of masculinity and responsibility.
Andrew Manishimwe, a journalism student at Mount Kigali University, supports this view, stating that in many African cultural settings, men are expected to be the providers and initiators in relationships.
Andrew Manishimwe, a Journalism student in Mount Kigali University.
“As men, we should take the first step because it signifies responsibility,” Manishimwe said. “A woman will see you as dependable, someone who can provide and contribute to a family. While it is fair for both partners to express love, culturally, men are expected to take the lead, allowing women to feel cherished and treated as queens on Valentine’s Day.”
The diverse perspectives on Valentine’s Day reflect broader conversations on gender roles, cultural expectations, and the dynamics of modern relationships. While some view the occasion as an opportunity for men to showcase their commitment, others advocate for shared responsibility in expressing love and appreciation.
Ultimately, how Valentine’s Day is celebrated depends on individual preferences and beliefs. Whether through traditional gestures or mutual participation, the essence of the day remains the same—a celebration of love in all its forms.
